Quote:
Originally Posted by jen29
Hi everyone,
I have been experiencing severe dissociation lately. It all started about 4 weeks ago when the flashbacks started up again. I have been talking to my psychologist about how sometimes i lose hours and sometimes i call people more than once in a day. This startled me and has me thinking that something is going on other than just dissociating due to flashbacks. I have been dissociating during my counseling sessions and then later she tells me about what has happened or what signs there were. On wednesday I had a session with her and things well, how do i put this went really weird. I get this feeling before I dissociate. I start to feel this numbness start to overcome my whole body and then I am gone. I sometimes can remember just starting and things going in and out of my head. Anyways, I started to go numb and she said I turned into a 6 year-old little girl. I don't have the slightest clue as to why I woulld do that, or what would bring that on.
We started talking, me and my counselor, and i asked her if i was crazy because i felt and still do feel like i am going crazy. I don't think people would understand if I told them what was happening and going on with me when I am at home or even at work for that matter. I am scared. I asked her, kinda jokingly, if I had multiple personality disorder, and she told me it's now called DID and she didn't know. She couldn't tell me a definite no though and that scares me even more. I have enough going on with not being able to work due to high anxiety and not being able to stay grounded, and now have to worry if I have alters that come out during the day when I can't remember things.
I am very scared and worried that people are going to think I am totally crazy and write me off as another psycho out there. I assure you I don't mean anything when I say these things, this is just what is going on in my head right now, and don't know what is wrong with me.
Just wondering if anyone has some insite, or has dealt with simular situations.
Thanks for listening.
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it doesnt sound like DID to me. from having DID myself and from information from my psych classes and my therapist DID doesnt just come on a person and run starting only 4 weeks ago. It is my understanding from these sourses that the symptoms of DID run through a persons whole life time. That there is a whole life time history of losing time, experiencing memory problems associated with not remembering personal information. my symptoms with having DID ran all through my whole life. my parents tell me they used to find me in the most unusual places in the middle of the night and daytime too and I would not be able to tell them how I got there and why. I could not remember things like who the people around me was. one time my parents took me to a relatives house and my parents say I embarrassed them because instead of saying hi aunt so and so I stuck out my hand like meeting them for the first time and said "pleased to meet you". My parents were embarrassed because we had just spent a two week vacation with them. I didnt remember who they were and didnt remember spending two weeks with them.
last week in psych class we touched on a concept that your post does sound like to me. That concept is that every one of us has a child within us. This is different than having alters. the way it was explained was that we all show different parts of ourselves depending on what the situation calls for. At work we are in our professional adult mode where we have to conform to professional regulations of decorum. At home we are in our relaxed adult mode of relaxing and caretaking of the children, home and spouses. But let the doorbell ring and open the door to find a co worker or boss standing there we immediately switch into our professional adult mode that we show when we are on the job. we can be in adult relaxed mode and have a situation happen where you feel like someone has offended you or harmed you and we suddenly switch into the parent mode to protect ourselves.
could be that you and your therapist were discussing some things that reminded you of when you were a child so you switched from your adult mode that you were showing into your child mode. there are some great books about the child within and the parent, adult, child concepts.
the book we are using right now is called
Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy by Eric Berne which explains this concept of Parent Adult Child Ego states. there is another book called
Games people play by eric berne but it also explains the Parent Adult Child Ego states that we all have within us.
more books on my college book list about parent adult child concept -
What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Eric Berne,
I'm OK You're OK - Thomas and Amy Harris
Scripts People Live - Claude Steiner