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Apr 02, 2009, 03:08 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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When I initially was diagnosed, I was relieved yet at the same time terrified!! I have a part that tells me that this dx is sh** and that the DID isn't real, but when I look at the big picture it makes soooo much sense to my experiences that I have been dealing with since I was a child. I don't know if bravery has much to do with it...I am just tenacious and have this need to have answers as a means of being able to control my internal and external world.
This new T asked me if I "wanted" DID? And I said..."Oooh, I didn't know I got a choice...?"  Really, I don't know if I WANT it or not? I don't know if WANT was the best word for that question. As a coping mechanism, it helped and continues to help me still to cope with the flashbacks, anxiety, stress of my world, etc....but it also hinders me in many ways now. So I am not sure how to answer that question. It's kind of a double edged sword!!
I think there is a bit of bravery in all of us. There has to be. If there wasn't, our minds wouldn't have been able to create these elaborate systems of survival for us. They would have just given up. At least that's my opinion....
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