You are so lucky you raised your daughter to know that family are people who love and support you, whether blood related or not.

I was too sick, too depressed, too lacking in self esteem, too vulnerable, too naive and too afraid of my own anger to raise my only child that way - many years ago now. I regret that so much. I taught her to love her grandmother, who was abusive to me and a very bad example to her. Her grandmother was more supportive of my daughter's father, he made my life hell and constantly threatened me with a custody battle, even after the divorce was over. I taught her to love him too. I taught her to love sick, emotionally cold, neglectful and abusive people. I regret that the most.

Her grandmother, my mother, would talk about me in a negative way when they were together. (So did her father's mother.) She would quiz her about every aspect of our lives, she was totally invasive and intrusive. Eventually she supported and helped my child's father when he essentially kidnapped her from me. By that time I was so depressed and without resources that I did not have the capacity to fight him. And since then she has been brain washed to think that is was HER decision, at 9 years old, to leave me because I was such a horrible mother.

I tried reconnecting with her in her teens - for some reason her father started letting me talk to her on the phone - but always felt I was walking on eggshells and never could be myself. I could never be the mother I wanted to be to her. One day 6 years ago she broke off all contact with me. I have no reason why, I tried many times, many ways to contact her, asked her to come to counseling with me. Never got a response.