Probably the essential thing to acknowledge is that everything that you experience is an aspect of your personality - there is nothing alien inside you - there is nothing foreign.

If you love any part of you then you must therefore love every part of you.
You are the totality - you are not a fraction.

The hurt that you can occasionally inflict is a demonstration of the sheer forcefulness of your personality - you have strength and boldness and cunning. These aspects of your nature can be put to a positive use, especially if you can learn to embrace them without self-loathing.