Quote:
Originally Posted by shame
it is the frustration that makes me angry ..i have to be in control .. i have to be able to not check out everytime i am with ppl or hear all of their voices in silence. it has to stop.
why wont they go away?
i do not know how many are inside of me - i am aware of a few that seem to be the strongest.. the others i am not sure of ..have no idea.
i know that there are little artisits inside that do not speak ..they are very creative. and teenage artists that are not so nice pretty dark in their thinking and creativity .. they came when depression hit me around 10 became very dark when depression was serious around 14.
the flashbacks of the tiny one would always sign ech coloring page and would put clear tape over her name. that was one i know about. she was obsessed with tape lol.
i am too afraid to try to commuicate with the others even the little one because i am to scared to find out what happened - i just want it to go away and not haunt me anymore in my dreams or in everyday life.
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shame,
I truly understand the fustration
The only thing I've ever wanted, are the exact same things you do.
To be in control takes practice.
Practice is talking and listening.
I listen to the voices in my head and say...please,one at a time(outloud,it sounds crazy, but it works)
When all the voices are talking at once,I cant hear anything except noise(not good)
When I am able to hear one voice,then I can ask whats wrong and talk with that voice(inside my head,listen,then reply outloud)and calm that voice down(or at least try)
This is what I call getting to know me, just like getting to know a new friend,except its me
The reason why they are not going away is because they have something to say and nobody wants to be there friend.
The first time I asked who am I, I got many answers and wrote them down because I did'nt want anybody to feel left out.
Some of my inside friends are mean too, but when I started listening to them and talking outloud to them, I was able to help calm them down. Eventhough they said not nice things, they were mad,angry and fustrated. I still talked to them because they were just looking for a friend.
ST...........