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Apr 03, 2009, 11:43 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2008
Posts: 64
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After the breakup I recently experienced, I felt like I had lost my best friend too. I know that sounds cliché but he really was the only one I ever completely opened up to... Even though he had said we would still be close, and that we would still talk and hang out, we didn't. I invited him to several different parties that I was involved with, and attempted to instigate conversation between the two of us, only to feel awkward and rejected. I'm extremely sensitive, so after a couple weeks of this kind of behavior I *gasp* took him off of my top friends on myspace. I know that's an immature thing to do, but I figured he might notice something was wrong if I did that. A couple more days went by and he didn't notice, so I decided to tell him. I texted him late-ish at night and told him of my decision to take him off of my top friends (to me that was basically saying that I didn't feel close to him any more, and I didn't consider him a good enough friend to showcase) he said he understood, but when we got more into my reasons for the decision things got ugly. I became extremely upset and actually hurt his feelings and pissed him off for the first time ever. He had pushed me into sexual things in our relationship that I was not ready for, and even when I told him I wanted to slow down he did not listen, and he had no intention of staying with me long term. I had reasons to be angry, but I was so much harsher than was necessary when my goal had been to repair the friendship.
After realizing that the friendship was something important to me, I told him that we needed to talk in person to at least try and work things out. I drove the whole 45 minutes to his town, and picked him and his dog up off the side of the road (he was taking a walk) and we drove around talking about things for a while. When we got back to his house he told me several times how glad he was that I came out to talk to him. But I’m really bad at expressing emotions in a friendship, so I just smiled and looked at the ground.
Even though things are going so well between us right now, I’m not sure if we can maintain it… He told me about how he asked a girl he’s friends with to prom, and I got sad about it. Since we were just texting he didn’t necessarily know, but I’m really sensitive, and even though I don’t want the friendship to end, I’m having a hard time having only friendship-type feelings for him. I’m trying to play it cool, but I am very very bad at hiding my feelings from people, especially him. What should I do? 
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