Does anyone else experience when outsiders trigger or hurt you that your little ones, littles, whatever you want to call them -- the children inside -- get stuck "holding the bag" and trying to deal with it?

If so what do you do about this, can this be changed somehow?

It seems unfair. The Little Ones get stuck trying to navigate big grownup complicated emotions and social interactions they have no clue how to deal with or manage successfully, they just break down & cry and get confused and hurt, meanwhile all these bigger, tougher ones inside that could handle it or even blow it off seem VANISHED. What causes this?