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Apr 03, 2009, 02:53 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16
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Hi Kruzmissile. I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time right now. I doubt my words will make you feel better, but you should know that I, as well as everyone else on these forums, care.
Are you still seeing a psychologist/pscyhiatrist? If you are, you should definitely let them know what you said in your post here and that you'd like to ramp up the treatment. I've online that there are other treatment methods for depression if medications don't seem to work. Also, definitely let your psychologist know that you're using marijuana. It may effect how your anti-depressants work.
I can really relate to your feelings after being dumped by your girlfriend. I was also dumped by my first love after 3 and 1/2 years. We also had plans... marriage, live together after college, etc. etc. After he dumped me, I became very depressed for nearly 2 years. None of the medications my psychiatrist tried seemed to help. Finally, I guess I just gradually became numb to the pain and was able to move on. I dated new people and had new relationships. Eventually, you will do the same. But, in the meantime, it's ok to feel devastated.
You said that you're trying to keep your faith during these rough times... I think that’s great and something you should really focus on. I also think that you should try to open up to some of the members of your church or the pastor/priest. I find that some of the easiest people to open up to are people who are very strong in their faith.
I hope things get better for you. Don’t hesitate to post here or even drop me a private message. 
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