hi loser37, I hear you there. I see just the fact that you are posting is great. In the past, things have been worse for me if I held things inside. I'm frustrated too, I identify with your issues, mine are similar please take comfort in knowing you are not alone . Can't say it doesn't suck, speaking for me it just plain sucks. Hope you are in a safe place with safe people. If you're coming to California, welcome, I've been here most of my life, be welcome .