First thought I had is why do you care about "rubbing" in your ex's face how good your life is. The second thing that occurs to me is the fact that you are aware he talks to his ex.

I think the communication breakdown here is, that your husband feels that he has been open about it , you even met her (his ex) and so he feels everythings on the up n up.

He may have been feeling something shift in relating with you and his first thought was, "there is another man". Also you had a long relationship with this ex Maybe if he had met the ex and felt things were open the way he approached talking to his ex with you he might not be so overeactive.

Still you probably have some unresolved feelings for the ex in the sense that there is still anger or hurt since you want him to feel bad that your doing so well. The best thing to do is try to communicate and validate your husbands feelings and from there resolve your own about the ex. Clearly you both love and care about each other Im sure things will calm down.