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Originally Posted by ickydog2006
I was wondering if anyone has any tips for this. I've been really losing control of everything it feels like and I don't have an appointment with my T for two weeks. I'm anxious all the time, freaking out at nights ect. I had some back problems recently and had physical therapy and the doctor says I really need to go work out more. The problem is I'm terified too. With the feeling of losing control all I want to do is go back to being anorexic. I haven't been for years. But I'm still terrified that working out is just the first step back for me. I don't want to live like that again...ever. I don't know what to do. I want to go work out, but I'm not sure I have the self control to do it in moderation. However, my lack of exercise is extremely unhealthy. Anyone have any ideas or solutions.
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It sounds like you really care about what is really healthy for you. And I know it's hard to fight when an eating disorder wants to sneek back into your head. I found that when I got way too thin and they wete going to put me back into the hospital I realized that I had to give up running. So it turned to walking. And if I was going to over do that I had to try to be honest with myself and my support team with what I was doing. So I then had to set time limits. I hated it. But knew that I knew that the road I was taking was the wrong one and may kill me. I still am struggilng. My food intake sucks.
But what I'm trying to say is there is no real answer here it comes from within you. Set limits. Don't over exceed them. Express your fears before you start to excersice so you have support. But take care of your back.
You have been on the recovery path and I think that you deserve all therespect and reward int he world ffor that. But fear of your ed shouldn't cripple you from setting healthy limits on this too. You done so much already. You can do this too. You my dear are a survivor.