The truth is this: I'm the depressed/anxious daughter of two clinically depressed parents (one bordering on antisocial personality disorder plus alcoholism) and four mentally ill grandparents (one schizophrenic, one antisocial personality disorder, three alcoholics). I'm intelligent, in fact, I majored in psychology in school because I believed it would get better, that it was possible to overcome depression.

I never been able to overcome it. I've been depressed literally as long as I can remember. I've tried conventional therapy with a psychologist, LCSW (currently) and psychiatrist, drug therapy, self-help, etc.

I'm 28 years old and am tired. I'm a good person, I've done what I should in life, in fighting this. And it hasn't worked. I find myself in this same blackness over and over again. Yes, my life has had some unfortunate circumstances, including the loss of a parent and the suicide of my best friend. Most recently, the ending of a long-term relationship. But these things happen to other people too. And I spend so much time grieving that I don't have time or room for anything else.

So, I'm back on another plan, going to alanon, seeing a therapist, trying again with drugs. Learning to accept the frightening reality: this is me, it has always been me.

Can anyone else say they've been through it the same before, that they've been depressed/ashamed THEIR WHOLE LIVES and are okay now? Because I've totally lost hope at this point.