First, you are not a loser - sorry your sign on name just struck me as another way to feel bad about yourself.
Also, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not disappointing anyone but possibly yourself.
You are in pain and that internal pain is leading to a reaction. Maybe you can talk to a therapist about it or if you are in school a counselor.
Whatever is going on is hard stuff to deal with but there is another side and doing the exercises stated and talking are ways to build a foundation to feeling better.