Dear Pom,

First, I want to tell you what a bright star you are when i read you here... so supportive and helpful, smart and caring!

You truly have everything you need inside of you to continue in this life without toxic people around you and yours.

I understand leaving family behind too, for different reasons, but the pain is the same, isn't it<>

Your brother is making a web of lies so that he can survive what he has done to you, and has his family distanced from you so they do not ever find out... that's okay, let them go. Leave them as they are.

If you see them, a brief 'hi', and 'good luck' is really all that's necessary.

I have suffered some abuse under younger, less educated, more street-wise siblings with street values, as I left home at an early age and continued to learn, and work, and move forward.

I am sad, at moments, that we haven't a reciprocated love connection, in my case, the rivalry, jealousy, and little to none availability of our parents as we began life... had much to much to do with it.

When I stuck my neck out, everytime... everytime, I got hurt.
Even both my grandparents said... stay away from that family, they are jealous, even hostile people, and will destroy you!

I asked for people to help us, and that brought me scorn. I asked my grandparents to interceed, and they were lied to (but knew it) and frozen out for years on end.

Some things are just the way they are. And better left alone.

Toxic families with dark secrets can become very uptight and closed minded, because rarely will most of the family surface for help, as their poison runs deep. That's what I believe, sadly.

~~~~ Now for the good news ~~~~~

With all the fantastic things about you... and all the wonderful qualities you have and the inner strength you posess, I would hope you keep moving forward, and as likable as you are, you can create an extended family to share occasions with ~ whether special, happy, or sad.

It might be good, if funerals arrive, to bring a close friend or a few with you... this way, you do not have to take in the negativity. Bring your own posse along!

And you don't have to go if you do not want to.

I gave myself permission to self-protect. It costs somewhat, but in comparison to not dis-engaging, I so am the winner today! In every way!!!

I hope you embrace the same security from within yourself as I learned to do, and not fear them again, or the bad feelings... have a celebration and let them go!

You are too precious, too valuable... too beautiful!

Remember this... and you will not allow disrespect for the useless means it's used for towards you ever again.

Stay bright ~

Be well, Dear Pom

Your Friend,
Nightbird
xoxo