Junerain,

I agree with Luce. You need to take care of yourself in a way your mother never did. Maybe in losing you see will see the way she is and change, then again, maybe not. What's important is for you to do what is best for you, and if that means getting out of an abusive relationship, then so be it. Many times if people have been given a poor parent, it helps to seek out a new friend to fill the mothering role that was never properly provided for you. In other words, if you were born into an unhealthy family, you can choose to stay away from them, and seek out healthy friends to fill the roles of those family members who were toxic.
Always be good to yourself.