Got a "summons for jury duty" today and it's kicked my PTSD into high gear. I'm shaking and wanna puke.

When I was a kid around the ages of 11 through 18, my house was constantly being raided by the cops. I watched my brothers get kicked and beaten by the men in blue many times. Because we were fatherless, they thought they'd do my mother a favor by stepping in and kicking some sense into "those punks."

Most of the cops knew my father before he died and I've often wondered if those punches were "in his honor" or not.

I can't tell you how many times I was in a courtroom watching one brother or another being hauled out in handcuffs and locked up for a year or two.

I have trouble with the law. I don't know if I can handle this.