I am really very sorry that you had to go through what you went through during your childhood. You have had your trust in everyone broken because they did not take you seriously when they should have. And your mother, I don't know how she can let this go on. I would die if my bf is doing that to my kids. It is understandable that you alienate everyone. It's to protect yourself, especially in the event that someone is not trustworthy.

There can be people who can care about you, if you let a few people in. I do hope you can allow someone into your life as a good friend. And, here in PsychCentral, we care about you. If you go, we will lose a shining light in here - and that is you. You may not see yourself that way, but it's true.

Are you in therapy? I hope you have a good therapist helping you out in sorting out your feelings and issues on trust. I wish you the best.

Safe hugs.