
Apr 05, 2009, 01:14 AM
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bananasarecool
theyre upset because i havent been in much lately... im choosing to not let anyone outside my close family know about my depression.
i guess... but i just wouldnt know what to write =/
im fifteen... im in year eleven going into year twelve and doing my gcses... so im basically going to college next year. ive been going out with him for four months next week
thanks for replying... i know it might sound stupid to you but it does mean a lot to me
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it doesnt sound stupid at all *can relate*
congratz on doing the gcses =D
I understand the decision to only let your close family know about your depression. I would agree for the most part with this decision, as lots of people judge things they don't understand very quickly.
The problem comes when your depression gets involved in your friendships - it will whether you TELL your friends or not. Maybe you could figure out some way to explain to them that you do care, even though they say you haven't been in much lately. Maybe one way to say this woud be to say you're having "personal problems"?? or something general that indicates that you care, and there's a reason for it. That'll be a personal decision for you, but I do think you should try to come up with something, because it's SO easy to push peope away or make them feel unwanted when you have depression without meaning to. 
Before I continue I want to say that I don't want to sound harsh but I'm going to be consise and honest with you. I might come off strong. I am not in any way upset with you, and I do really care about what you're going through (believe it or not )
Quote:
i don't have control over anything any more
the compulsion to vomit. to starve. to binge.
the need to burn..to cut. to feel pain.
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You may feel like you have control when you vomit, starve, bing, cut, or burn. But sooner or later, and probably already you will lose control. It WILL spiral out of control. You will be caught in it. Speaking from personal experience PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN. Control the way your room looks, the way you do your hair, ANYTHING. But please. Be kind to your body.
Starving: if you starve your body enough, over time you will not get enough nutrients. You will not get slimmer, because your metabolism will slow down. You won't feel ABLE to eat normally any more. You'll be trapped. Meanwhile, your body is not getting the nutrients you need, your bones, your organs, vital parts of your body can suffer severe consequences. binging: very similar. Also, throwing up often can cause serious damage to your throat. People have died from bulemia. They can die next to the toilet.
Please, please PLEASE do not let this happen to you. If you can't stop these habits yourself PLEASE get professional help. You are 15. You have so many years ahead of you , don't let them be bad ones 
Cutting/hurting yourself is also a vicious cycle. I've had some eating trouble here and there but my cutting has been far worse. It started so small. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, I didn't like it but it only happened once in a while. Last year, I was at a point where it was EVERY DAY. I'm not the only one. So please make every effort to stop, and also seek help if you can't do it alone. 
About the boyfriend: I'm glad you care about him. But remember he's not your only reason for being here... you are worth more than a relationship
I hope I didn't come off to strong, and I'm sorry it took me so long to say everything.
Thinking of you, pm me anytime 
~turquoisesea
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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