Hi confusedteen. I am the mom of two teenage girls and I would want my girls to go to therapy if they felt they needed it. I think I would especially want them to go if they were depressed. If you do tell your parents you would like to see a therapist, be prepared to tell them why. They will be concerned and want to know.

However, some parents might not like it. But what is the worst that could happen if you tell them you would like to see a therapist? Would they be angry? Become defensive? Say no? Try to talk with you more about your problems? Are any of these that bad? Worse than not risking asking your parents at all? Your parents might try to tell you that being moody and so on is just part of being a teenager. But don't let that reason discourage you from therapy. Just because many teens may experience shifting moods doesn't mean that it won't help to talk with a therapist. If you think you will meet with a "no" answer from your parents, I suggest enlisting the aid of other adults (sometimes parents will listen to other adults when they won't listen to their kids). For example, your school counselor or family doctor.

You could seek the advice of your school counselor. Tell her what you have written here and ask her if you think seeing a therapist would be helpful. Then when you tell your parents, you can say that you spoke with your school counselor and she thought seeing a therapist would be a good idea. You could even suggest to your parents that they call your counselor to talk this over (get the OK on this first from your counselor). If your parents don't believe that you need a therapist and your school counselor does, she might be able to get your parents on board with the idea.

Another person to share your concerns with is your family doctor. At your age, you are probably alone in the room with your doctor most of the time rather than having mom or dad present. (If not, you can tell the doctor you have something you'd like to discuss alone, and they will readily accommodate you and ask mom to wait outside.) Then describe what you've said here, and doctor will probably give you a referral to a therapist and can help tell your parents too. The doctor might also ask you some brief questions aimed at detecting depression.

My youngest daughter, age 15, has been in therapy for 2 years. I think it's been very good for her, in subtle and intangible ways. (So if your parents do agree to let you go to therapy, they shouldn't have expectations for overnight resolution of your problems.)

An appropriate sort of therapist might be a Family Therapist who has experience working with teens (in contrast to a family therapist who emphasizes couples counseling).

"Mom and Dad, lately I've been having a lot of trouble. I'm so moody and can get upset by the littlest things. Sometimes I feel down and so alone. But I don't feel I can talk to you about what's going on with me, even though I know you would want to help. I talked to my school counselor and she recommended I try seeing a therapist. I think I'd like to give that a try. What do you think?"

What you say doesn't have to be long or detailed. If you are unsure what to say, write it out beforehand. Practice it. If you can't get the words out, hand the paper to one of your parents and have them read it.

If you get emotional when telling your parents, or you cry, it's OK. It's a stressful thing to do, and tears help rid our bodies of stress chemicals.