Can you say more about your life falling apart?
I often feel rage and self injure when I am frustrated, scared, and don't know what to do!! It's a very fast jump to feeling things are out of control. One of the things that helps me is to practice relaxation every day (and more than once on some days). There are many CD's out there and it takes only 10 or 15 minutes to sit or lay and listen to one. It very calming and gives the mind a chance to relax as well as the body. When my mind is relaxed I can think clearer and see more options for myself that in my worried fearful frustrated state I cannot.
The CD that I use the most is called "Warm" and "Heavy". The CD has 2 tracks, one is "Warm" and the other is "Heavy", and I like them both. I ordered it from
www.wholeperson.com.
I hope you enjoy your trip to California.