I'd rather say you changed your mind, did what you felt was right for you at the moment.

That is one of the most irritating things.. how the symptoms interfere with what we want! Things like travelling, visiting, school, wanting people in our lives. It is so hard to achieve when we are so inundated with our internal experiences and struggles. It requires so much energy. It's so hard to relax. Feeling overwhelmed makes us give up because it's hard to see any other way. It is so hard.

I'm sorry you are missing your trip and stuggling with getting things done for school.

Do you have a therapist to help you?
I have been in and out of therapy for many years, but 2 years ago found a psychodynamic therapist and it makes such a difference in my life. It feels good to be accepted without judgement, to be wanted, to be able to say anything and everything without worry of how it sounds, how I 'look', etc.