June,
I sincerely hope you were able to get what you needed emotionally as you take these early steps into independence from your mother.
Jmo, but it's never too late or too early to tell Anyone that you won't take their abuse any longer.
You are a valuable and worthwhile human being. You deserve to be shown respect and courtesy, at a minimum, by people in your life.
I don't believe you would take this behavior from someone else--why take it from her?

Yep, boundaries. Wise advice to set them and keep them.

I severed emotional ties with my parents many years before they died...it renewed my spirit and opened the door to a measure of peace for me.
When each one was dying, I chose to take care of them. It was hard in many ways, but I'm glad I did it. My feelings towards them were about what I had for my real life patients.
It gave me a chance to test my feelings and see if theirs had changed...keeping the boundaries in place was not a problem.
Nothing had changed except me. I did tell them if I was not shown respect that they could pay for nursing until hospice was called in.
Money speaks volumes!

I gained much from those experiences. One of the best was knowing I had done the right things by not having close contact with them early on, then the decision to take care of them at the end.
Something like that may not work for someone else but it did for me.
No Guilt, either.

My best wishes for you to protect your heart from her abuse,
Cap