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Apr 05, 2009, 02:54 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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 WOW!!
That seems to be the Million $dollar$ question for me..!
I'm not sure I have resolved it yet. I know I am angry...very angry at the people who committed these acts against me. I am also extremely hurt.
To me, I've come to a point where I believe there is a force greater than myself, greater than this world and this universe, out there somewhere that has supreme knowledge of what is happening everywhere.
It's difficult for me to think that this force, power, God...whatever you would like to call it, would sit by and witness the pain and tragedy that exist in this world. Especially the pain and tragedy that inflicts children.
I have found that I HAVE to believe that, although it is devastating, this supreme force has no choice but to watch as these tragedies unfold. Not because it could not intervene, but because there was something that the people involved in the experiences were supposed to learn from it. Whether that be about themselves, the world...whatever.
I believe that this supreme force/being (whatever) does intervene at times and is always there to protect in anyway possible.
HOWEVER...I could easily allow myself to feel betrayed and hurt and lost and rejected...it's not a far leap for me. I constantly push these things out of my head because if I didn't then I would really truly be alone and the only reason for me to have experienced the trauma I had experienced would have been because people that I loved that were supposed to love me back didn't. I can't handle that reality. I cling to my faith to keep all this worth something.
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