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Right now, I am alone at home and I'm spiraling down. I feel alone and am tired of the fight to survive. I love the manic days, just LOVE them (as long as they aren't irritable, which is seldom). I'm going to lose them due to new treatment, new drugs. I'm hopefully going to lose the major depressive cycles--they are so dangerous.
Right now, the spiral is taking me down to a dark and bad place. I wish it could just end. I don't want to go to the hospital--I don't think I'm that bad yet. Where is the line drawn where one must go to hospital?
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