Hi Susan. I don't have the ability to call my t outside business hours. I'm not going to do anything, I don't even have the energy for that. I wish I did, but I don't. I don't want to call a crisis line. There's no need to. There is no hope, there never will be. Every time I remotely start to feel better, I get hit again. There's just nothing left here. I'm truly vacant. Like I said, I don't even know why I bothered to post. I honestly wasn't expecting any replies. I don't know anything anymore. I'm too zoned out and too depressed to even care. Thanks for your concern though.