((((((((((((((manda)))))))))))))))))

I understand wanting to escape, I really do. Can you do anything to distract yourself? Something just for you, something that might make you feel as calm/safe as you did in the hospital, something to "take you away" from everything for a little while? It might help to find some way to "escape" once or twice every day, so that you have a little more energy to tackle life again when you return.

Lots of hugs.