((((((((((((((((loser37))))))))))))))))))

So sorry things aren't going well for you right now. I'm glad you can't stand the depression, I'm glad you just want to be normal -- it means that you know that the depression is not the norm. Neither is that feeling of wanting to crawl into a hole. Neither is that feeling in the pit of your stomach like your life and the whole world are going incredibly wrong. Neither is the belief that you have no good qualities. None of that is the norm -- it's possible to feel better than this, I promise. It probably doesn't seem like it now (I know when I'm feeling low, nothing anyone can say will cheer me up) but there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you don't believe it, repeat it to yourself anyways. Repeat it so loudly inside your head that you drown out all your other depressed thoughts. Scream it, if you have to. Don't believe it, if you can't or don't want to, but it can be a relief to be able to think anything else (true or untrue) that silences the depressed thoughts, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Lots of hugs. I care and I hope that you feel better soon.