Everything I do to try and help myself to relax, like a nice weekend away from all the crapness, from all the crap feelings and people, with my bf, is always s**t on. All I ask is that I can just chill out for a weekend with my bf on a holiday not too far from home. Is that so much to ask? I never get a break. I never let myself get a break... He knows how much I need it and he is trying his damndest to get me this break away... But... I just keep thinking 'what's the point in carrying on if I can't even be allowed to be happy?!'

What the hell is it about me that people hate so much and seem to want to take everything out on me?

I give up on always trying to make myself happy and failing...