Sending you lots of hugs...

I agree with everyone else, you need to get help and you need it now. Overmedicating is not the answer, and it's very, very dangerous. I know that all you want to do is sleep to avoid the bad thoughts in your head but that's not going to solve anything. You need to take active steps to fight them, which is scary, but you don't deserve any less.

Please be careful, and get the help you need right away. Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes. Take care.