(((((Jen)))))

You made a mistake of trusting someone you shouldn't have. We all do that. He made the worse mistake of lying to you, or at least not being honest to himself about his own feelings and intentions. We all do that also. That's not excusing his behavior, that's an explanation. Sex is an area that's fills most people with alot of guilt and shame, unnecessarily. Sex is part of being human.

Stop beating yourself up over a very human desire of wanting to feel close and loved by someone. But learn from that mistake to pay more attention to the signs you say were there. Also maybe try taking more time to get to know someone, to make sure they really can be trusted. That is always a good idea before you start a sexual relationship. If someone is going to end a relationship because you are not going fast enough in the sex department, chances are that's not a relationship you want to keep, or place your trust in, anyway.

Don't bother with hoping for an apology. If that should happen, it would be very good for you, but don't expect it or try to elicit one from him. And if he makes an apology but then trys for more sex, I wouldn't go there either. There's the old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Hold your head high. Don't go around your friends acting like you have the scarlet letter written all over you. You made an honest mistake by being trusting and looking for love and affection. What is so terrible about that? And you learned that jumping into sex in the hopes of starting a dating relationship, of getting love and affection, is putting the cart before the horse.

Forgive yourself. Take better care of yourself from now on.

As for him, he's not worth hurting yourself over. He's at least immature and clueless as to how he feels, what his intentions are and who he is. At worst he is untrustworthy, a liar and a predator. Why feel bad about HIS problems?