How can I not blame myself. They say bad things about me. Things that I've supposedly done. So if I've done them, then they're personal, they're mine to own, so the blame is mine. I have to internalize that. I screwed up so it's ME. It's always me. I can't ignore that. They can't all be wrong. I'm the one that's wrong. I have to take responsibility for the things I do.

I don't accomplish anything. I'm a total loser and failure in life. There are no positives, way too many negatives. It's insurmountable. There's no hope. I'm broken.

I know you're there for me and I thank you for that but you have your own life and your own problems that you should and need to be working on. I'm not worth anybody's time. I'm a loser, a total waste of space. I shouldn't even be here. I'm a mistake.