I don't think Connor would understand even if I toook him with me because he thinks that drs think that just by giving me meds, they'll make it "alllll better" that's how he sees it. I'm going to hopefully be moving out of this town, so be joining another drs surgery anyway to try and get some psychiatric help elsewhere, because the services here are SHAMEFUL. They just don't help at all and it makes me sick.

The only decent counsellor I saw was the one at the surgery, but she's not competent enough to be able to help me with all these issues... I'm going to hopefully be seeing a counsellor that specialises in EDs soon anyway, so she'll work through the rapes and abuse with me too... Just wish I didn't have to wait so damn long. I'm on the edge and I can't stand here for much longer without falling off

Today's been pretty awful... I'm ill, tired, weak, bored. I feel useless, not relaxed. My back muscles ache like crazy from rushing around all day, yet I feel lazy. WTF???

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to live my life anymore. I don't want to BE anymore. I've only just met my new GP so she doesn't know much. I guess... It's gonna take FOREVER for her to know everything that my old GP did. I may as well just do this by myself. I have so far, even if it kills me. I don't care. I hate my life right now.