|
I feel it is/was a long term trigger that comes and goes. The list…being lonely, feeling depressed, worthless, hated, used, my looks, what others say about me, how I feel about myself, have no enjoyment anymore, embarrassed, want to meet people but people annoy and bother me too much with speeding, loud cars/music, afraid of people, never had a date, want to be touch/held, talked to, be with me for me not because it is a job (like T), money, bills, worry, no friends, hate my hair (used to be nice and got picked on so trimmed it and made it worse, so tried to fix it and even worse), people telling me girls don’t like my hair, shy, cant stand up for myself, in a car accident, feel normal living in a world of aliens (AS), nothing ever works out for me, ingrown facial hairs because I tweezed them out because facial hair is itchy to me, bugs noise season coming, outside work with people outside, have no meaning in my life, don’t mean a thing to anyone else, hot weather, people showing of body (sickening to me, but part of me wants it, but get depressed because never will), lost my best pets, no friends, see what other people don’t, don’t fit in, eat nothing but junk food, bad sleeping night after night, TV shows I loved bring back memories when I was happy and that depresses me greatly, seeing beautiful people on TV hugging/kissing depresses me greatly, I never meant anything to anyone and I don’t mean anything to anyone now…
|