Quote:
Originally Posted by ktgirl
I agree with this entirely - and it is one of the reasons I can't stop the disordered eating....
I don't WANT to get in touch with the feelings, memories and other stuff.
It is too painful!
Maybe part of me wants to - the part that wants to be healed.
But the part that wants to protect myself from the pain by using the ED is much stronger right now. I don't know how to stop!
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Hi KTgirl,
I hope your doing okay. You went through treatment . And were doing well . I'm pretty sure you did. Correct me if I'm wrong. You have 3 children right?
Yes I know . how difficult it is to feel the emotions. Anger was the first one that came out and I did not like that one . It lead me back to the food.
It took me forever to find sadness. and joy. what was joy? I think I know Joy . Joy would be a great name for a dog.
or a carefree child.
And lonlieness . wasn"t sure about that either. and hurt . I know hurt now.
But If I didn't then Id put my hand in the fire over and over.
I still avoid stuff big time. Like for instance. I have not read your last reply in the dental thread.
I've still got my head in the sand. I just wish it would all go away .
About the one thing I can do now is decide what I want to do with my food . . Its just food.
and the emotions. they do pass . They don't last and can be worked through and accepted.
Tired tonight.
Patricia