yes you can be free of this prison again. i relapsed after 5 years of no alcohol or crack. i was the type of alcoholic where i would sleep with a beer on my nightstand to drink if i woke up. if the morning i would have shakes & dry heaves til i got enough beer back in me. i drank liquor & malt liquor also but at the end just regular beer cuz i could atleast not be a complete drunken mess on regular beer although i still was. well u know what i mean. after 5 years i started taking a xanax here & there to help me sleep & i got into problems with those. i eventually started smoking crack again & eventually had 2 or 3 drinking relapses. this time with some really crazy behavior. back when i was 25 i spent the whole year of 1999 trying to get sober & i stayed sober & happy for awhile cuz i went to church & had the happiness of Gods Holy Spirit in my heart but then i quit going & slowly stuff crept back in. after 5 years when i was 30 i drank again but knowing it makes me insane i thought i can get away with just smoking crack. that became a nightmare also. God was faithful to bring me out & im out of that Hell for good now!!! you can do it!!! Hugs & Prayers for you