Could you perhaps set your personal feelings aside and MODEL respect toward your husband for your son to emulate?

Just a thought. People do not always act for the reasons we assume them to act (or not act, as the case may be). You ASSUME him to be spineless and apathetic. Perhaps you misconstrue him entirely. Perhaps he has real feelings of his own he happens to be dealing with, which have NOTHING to do with what you project onto him. Perhaps he could really use a PARTNER right now in his life, you know, someone on HIS side who cares how HE feels.

Again, just thoughts. Obviously Mal does not know either one of you so this would be all its own speculation and projection. But perhaps worth thinking about nonetheless. At any rate, could any HARM come from you modeling, with your attitude, speech and actions, respect toward your husband for the sake of showing your son how it should be done? It sure seems he must be learning the disrespect somewhere, and it would not be from your husband, but from what you posted, it sounds like he'd be learning that from you.