I could not resist replying to this one!
Jennifer, I did the same thing. Exactly the same. If you go back to old posts you'll find one called "Made myself a booty call?".
I was lonely (years alone), I was inexperienced, totally naive, partially angry at some guy that had dumped me ages ago, dazzled by the dude's good looks and I had hit 31. I knew that this man would never "see" me. I was soooo not his type (he goes for models). I KNEW what his plans were for me. During those moments when things were unraveling I thought to myself 1) how many times will a gorgeous guy like this come along? 2) when will I ever get to experience human contact again? 3) maybe this "pretend" affection might "feed" me for the following years 4) Mr Right ain't coming 5) 31 and no prospects...........and so........I caved.
Seriously, I had no regrets....the first time. I actually felt like a winner. But my mistake came later....because the following week he called me again. I should've said "no". But his call made me think that maybe he felt something for me. I thought that maybe he had "noticed" me. This was a first for me, I really had no clue that a person can be so cruel. Obsiously, the second time he really made me feel like a bathroom toilet. The experience was humiliating especially with the speed with which he dressed up and left. Seriously, as if he was done from using a toilet. Horrible.

I find that these people are the ones who should walk around feeling embarrassed. Not us. Single women with low self-esteem are perfect victims for these guys. As I said I knew what he was up to. The power of my lonelyness and feeling worthless got the best of me. Oh and you should see how things were at work....because yes...he was a collegue. Aweful! I was walking around feeling embarrassed. I felt as if everybody knew.

Stop feeling bad. This guy is one of the many who use others for their benefit. I'm afraid to say that these guys are the majority. One must be careful and pay attention to their actions NOT their words. They will say a million nice things till they get what they want. Some of them will even date you 3-4-5 times just to "get there". It's just messy. I'd be lying if I were to tell you that I know now how to spot them.

This is what I've done: I've started excersising. I go running in the evenings, I go swimming and I bike. I've also started to eat healthier and I'm visiting a doctor to help me treat my acne (cause I've got THAT too). It's helping somewhat with the self-esteem, but not sooo much because I'm still single. I think if guys were to notice me a bit, I wouldn't care at all about the jerks I've met. Maybe in time this might happen. The good thing thought is that running, swimming and all that helps me to not think about him or other horrible people that I've met. For 2-3 hours within my day I take a brain-vacation. Try it out. Maybe this might help you too.

Wow, long response! Anyway, good luck with recovering.