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Old Apr 07, 2009, 08:30 AM
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Gabi925 Gabi925 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: Canada, To, ON
Posts: 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn1fer82 View Post
I ended up becoming someone's rebound one night stand and I am not proud of myself whatsoever. I feel I'm only punishing myself for making such a horrible mistake and not setting up my standards high enough to stop this relationship in time. Every time I see him I'm only reminded of my mistakes and I feel I only continue to beat myself up over and over again. I wished he would have liked me enough to want to date me like he said he would but once he got what he wanted he just wanted to be friends. I'm not as angry at him anymore because I understand I have to take responsibility for my part in the relationship so now I'm left with myself and I'm just so ashamed. The warning signs were there and I thought I was doing everything right but I bought into his words and believe it could be possible and once it was over and done with I haven't heard from him sense. I wish we could carry on the friendship but its not possible. Now all I think about are my mistakes and I'm having such a difficult time forgiving myself and even caring about myself. Its another let down in my life that its so embarrassing. We have the same group of friends so its been difficult to avoid him and the memories of my mistakes. I wish I could get an apology from him but it would never happen. I wish he could have stood by his verbal intentions and wanted to date me but that would never happen. I feel my mistakes have marked me. I really don't feel good about myself and so foolish.
Would you prefer to spend all your life in dreams and never acting? When we can't reason enough about a situation we have to practice and learn and know how the things could go next time. As long as we do not harm others and not even us on purpose ... is a mistake to try and see what's happening when acting instead of dreaming of? I think what are you doing now is a mistake: to punish yourself and keep on suffering for just trying in that situation to learn something by experience. Probably you weren't yet prepared to evaluate the situation by reasoning. Now you know. Is it bad to know? Have you paid a greater price for your lesson - other than you pride? I understand that no! Then thank him for the lesson and head up! :-)