So my boyfriend and I have officially been dating for about 2.5 months, been friends for a little longer than that. We waited about 3 weeks into dating to have sex (we both wanted to get tested etc... beforehand) and talked/hung out for a couple weeks before officially going on a date. We both wanted to make sure that we could be friends first without getting involved.

So anyways, I felt like, and he agreed, that we had a very strong connection. We can talk about anything, we can have fun doing anything from going out to sitting around playing video games. So, for me, one of the "milestones" (maybe too strong of a word) is that point in a relationship when it stops being "sex" and starts being "making love". I'm sure most people have had that moment when you feel a really strong emotional connection with your partner and suddenly it turns into making love to one another y'know?

Well I'm starting to get to that point but it feels like he's keeping himself from getting there. A few years before me he had dated a girl, they lived together and everything. They went to Colorado one summer and she met a guy. Then when he came back to Illinois, she stayed in Colorado with her new beau, to whom she is now married.

He says all the time that I make him happier than anyone else and we've talked about whether he still misses her etc... because I understand that he's not the one who wanted it to end so I would get it if he still had some feelings for her. Which he says he doesn't have any at all. But I feel like he's kind of sending me mixed signals bc he's scared I'll do the same thing to him and I think I'm the first girl he's felt this way about since her so I'm sure it's scary for him.

But he'll say things to me about wanting to be with me etc... but then I'll say the same thing to him and it'll scare him. Like, after he says it, he regrets putting himself out there and being vulnerable.

And I understand that 2.5-3 months isn't a long time and that it's going to take a while to trust me, as will it take a while for me to trust him fully, but I was wondering if anyone had some ideas or advice as to how to open him up? I can tell that he's holding back and that makes me feel like he's not 100% in it. But I'm afraid that if I go to him and tell him that I know something's wrong it will either come across as an accusation, which i don't want, or he'll be embarrassed or feel like he's been "caught" at something, which I also don't want.

Is there anyway to go about this other than either just waiting forever until he does it himself, or blatantly coming out and saying that I know something's keeping him from being completely in it?