My Support Forums - View Single Post - I have become my mom and married my father

reach · Apr 07, 2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathyM

Hi reach

I'm with Ihateit on this one. My sister was married to a man like that, and she treated him in the same manner. She never was able to turn him into the husband and father she wanted him to be for their son. But, after 24 years he finally did grow a backbone - he left her for another woman, and said it's because she makes him feel like a man. Their child is grown now and off on his own - my sister is all by herself.

If your son sees you treating your husband like dirt (being mean), you are setting the example for him to do the same towards his father. It could be an explosive situation when he becomes a teenager or bigger/stronger than the both of you. When your son becomes a man and takes a wife of his own, would you want your future daughter-in-law to treat your son as you treat your husband?

You sound like a very strong woman. I think you have the ability to set your son straight when it comes to showing respect. Regardless of your husband's character and personality, he is still the "head of the household." When your son has his own home and can successfully raise his own family without your help, then he'll have a right to call his dad (or you) a jerk if he wants. Hopefully, by then he'll realize how difficult it is to raise children.

I'm not a professional either. I'm just a wife and mother offering you my opinion.

I know this is not what most logical person would do - I am increasing feeling like leaving. I know I need to get help though. At the moment, I am alternating between anger, repent and forgiveness.