AngelGirl....when I come to the point that I want to die I either call a friend, call my T or go to a crisis center.
If you have been in this lowly place before and have pulled your self out of it then why do you think this time that cannot be done?
You keep saying you didn't think anyone would even reply to your post...I think that is b u l l s h i t. You know people here care deeply for you. But they are at the pc and you are at yours and so the sense of support although genuine can only go so far. You need to reach out to someone who is tangible...because although we can send hugs and be supportive we can not be sure you are safe. And we cannot feel guilty if you are not.
I don't mean to be harsh. I am sure I sound it. Maybe because I am concerned and a little pissed.
I don't want to get up every morning and face the same thoughts in my head, hear the same voices, and fear the same things day in and day out. But, all I can do is wake up and hope for the best and if issues and struggles come my way I know I need to do my best to work through them. Although I use this forum site to vent and get some feelings out...by no means is this site there to provide the care and concern I need in order to keep myself from killing myself. Are you following?
If you knew how bad I want to die every day you would get to a point where perhaps you would offer me the rope...sometimes I wish someone would. But, I have to hope that tomorrow will be better then today..no matter what.
So, please do yourself a world of good and call crisis if you cannot call your therapist on the weekends. Although, they should have someone on call if your specific therapist is not available.
Do something to make the changes....Please! Because we do care...