I'm struggling so hard with depression and I'm so weary ... I really thought i had made up my mind not to move ahead with ETC, it just scares me so much, but then i think, how long can i go on like this? I've been in a major depressive episode for over two years and completely off antidepressants for several weeks now. Every day is a huge struggle. I live alone and I don't see very many other people so I have to be very strong. Bedtime is horrendous. Some really lousy things have happened in the last few weeks and I can't shake it, cry every night over the same issue and don't know how to deal with it. I want to fix it, but the perwson involved is unlikely to react well if I ask him to talk about it. Not everyone is open or willing to examine their behaviour. I can't risk making things worse because the person i am in conflict with is my son-in-law. I love my daughter and i love him, too, but neither of them is willing to hash things out. They get so reactive and close their ears. I think and think and think about what is bothering me, I look at my attitudes, what i have done to contribute to the problem and still I come to same conclusions, that I would have done very little differently. And he acted like a jerk, but I don't want to continue to have negative feelings towards him. My grandchildren are part of this. I just feel horrible and stuck and completely miserable. Any wisdom to share with me?