Hi Suzy...

I'm glad you think I'm young... alas, I'm only a couple of years younger than you, but I'll keep the compliment, Thank you!

I took Wellbutrin for about 5 years with no problem. It helped for a while, it kind of tapered off after a couple of years, I think. (Though once i started taking it I quit smoking almost immediately, so that's great)!

As I began taking more and more bipolar drugs I began having symptoms, shaking hands, feeling kind of wired and so on. At that point I was taking lithium, Lamictal, Wellbutrin and Effexor, I don't remember if there was anything else. I didn't have a pdoc (I was practically living on the streets) or therapist. The people at the NAMI chapter were great, it was a good place to hang out. ANYWAY, I started to taper off the antidepressants, and I started to feel some better.

I stayed off antidepressants for a few years. I wasn't doing so well, so my pdoc gave my Seroquel, which has worked pretty well. I still have depressive episodes, but they are not as severe as before. Now I take Seroquel, lithium, Lamictal and Ambien for sleep, and I've been taking Celexa for awhile now. My pdoc switched me to the Wellbutrin for more energy, which it did, but the weird side efects, so I'm tapering back to Celexa.

I went to an outpatient program in lieu of hospitalization a couple of years back. The curriculum was based on DBT, which I found to be very helpful, I still use what they taught me. I also use some CBT techniques I learned in an anger management class, they have been very helpful, also.

I guess what is the hardest thing to get used to is the realization that my life will pretty much go to the devil every year or two. I need to find something I can do with consisyency. I do have SSDI, and I get a bit of money from my band, but I need to find something to do that can continue even during episodes. I do see a therapist every other week or so, and my pdoc every eight weeks or so, so I'm covered there.

Is it too much to ask to be able to do something productive and satisfying?