Hi Kruz,

Me again. I have reread your post and the others left by the by others.

There is a lot of different advice there isn't there. I am confused myself.

It is great that you have managed to keep your suicidal thoughts at bay, that shows how strong you are, even if you don't feel it.

I have not been put on medication for my depression which i am glad of in a way. I have been referred to a counsellor but it is taking its time. Luckily Idon't have to pay for mine, its on the NHS.

I have found this site to be very helpful to me, just to get things out in the open and not to be judged on it. To be 'validated' is great. I know that this is just the first step and that I have a long way to go.

i am sorry about your girlfriend, it must be hard especially when you opened up to her. But i would like to say that there are many people on here who would like to help you to get through the bad days ahead.

I too bottled it up for a long time, thirty years, Iam 35. even now I do it. The only one outside my family who knows I have depression is my boss who has been brilliant. He says I am a master at masking it.

If you want to talk any further please do not hesitate to contact me either by post or pm. Anytime. Obviously there is a time difference but I am on here every night so I will reply as soon as.

Big Hugs