Hi folks, been in in in and out of the mental health system for 14 years...been diagnosed Bi-polar once but but but then changed to Borderline. Took meds but but but didn't like them. Gone to to to therapy but doctors always a) refuse to to to accept me after initial assessment 2) treat me then then then drop me without reason or referral 3) always ended up in in in the hospital, involuntarily (cuz I cut & am open about my my my suicidal thoughts). just got out of of of the hospital a month ago after my T dropped me...he he he had me taken away against my will, cops picked me up at my my my new job...embarassing but my employer was was was good about it all. My T wouldn't even return my my my phone calls while I was in the crisis center. Now I dont know if if if I have the courage to try again. Made a phone call today to to to someone for phone numbers & referalls for possible therapists. Unfortunately, I live in in in a state (Florida) that is so quick to put you away for for for even blinking about suicide. The the the guy I talked to today made me promise I wouldn't hurt myself and and and I think he is gonna follow up with me to to to make sure I make the phone calls that he provided. Just worried now that he he he might put me away too. Just feel like giving up...any any any thoughts guys??? I'm new to to to this site. Thanks 4 listening!!