Quote:
Originally Posted by skitz101
I hate that this has been taken away from me. I'm not even sure why I'm here. I know no one and yet am afraid of those I do. This is crazy right? I used to Trust or so I thought. Things are really screwed up. According to all my doctors I've had trauma all my life and yet was able to not only cope but become successful in all my endeavors. Now, I'm merely the shell with nothing good in me but distrust and paranoia.
I need to know if this is a secure place for me to talk and that someone is listening and not just patting me on the ehad. I'm even afraid to speak my mind on the computer for fear that others ( not at this site) are viewing everything I do.
Can someone please make me feel safe so I can reach out.
Skitz101
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I have personally identified this as my biggest hinderance. I am in that place as we speak....I am VERY similar to you. I've held good jobs, I own my own house free & clear & have put myself almost completely through college.
I now get sweaty palms just doing a simple task like taking my twins to school...If you need to talk to someone who is dealing with the same issues, feel free to read my bio & my introduction I made here on April 1st
I told part of my story there. That may make you feel more comfortable that I'm lagit...I know that's in the back of your head.
I have a hell of a time determining where educated caution & justified mistrust ends & full blown paranoia begins right now...
I functioned fine for many years because while I didn't trust others, I trusted myself...when I lost that I completely came unglued
I'm here if you need to talk about your story & how you are or are not coping. I cried for the 1st time I can remember in October & subsequently cried like a baby most of the winter...
It feels good in someways to be able to feel & not be numb,
but the down side is my general coping skills are no where near as effective.