Miri, considering how difficult things are right now I would suggest you only agree to come and stay with your daughter if there were some ground rules set in place - certain things are not to happen and that she must agree to listen and not ridicule what you say. You could tell her that you will only stay as long as those conditions are met - if you go there you are doing her a BIG favor and she needs to appreciate that. If she keeps the boundaries well and good and if she will not then carry through and go on home and let her make it on her own.

I am a mom of two adult daughters and we are not in any real struggles but I've come to realize that mother is not synonymous with slave!!!!!!!! You do not owe her a visit - it is a gift you offer and if she is not grateful for it do not keep giving. If you respect yourself and demand the same from her and set healthy boundaries it can be a very good thing.

It is inappropriate for her to put you down and call you silly or call your concerns "silly" - that is disrespectful.

Take any of this if it helps or let it go if it doesn't. I am just now learning that I have innate value and worth and I need to expect the people in my life to treat me decently and to STOP allowing anyone (my spouse in particular) to treat me badly, unkindly or disrespectfully. I have a lot of appreciation all of a sudden for Aretha Franklin's song "RESPECT". It is about a woman telling her man that he better find out what respect means to her if he wants her to continue to be there loving him!

I wish you well,

Leslie and the pixies