I have been used for the pleasure of others at my expense. I was vulnerable , they happened out of the blue and I couldn't respond in the way I should have. I was Brought up to not protect myself or value myself .

I've had 5 indecent exposures from men while out walking or riding my bike . One was standing up on a motorcyle while it was ridng . I call him
Evil Kenievel .. LOL! who knows It coud have been him..

My father said it was because of my legs. Funny I thought that was very odd because my legs were ugly to me. But now when I see my pitures of me at age two I see how a pedophile could get turned on. Its fact. I just didn't want to see it.

My first attempt at reporting something was seeing My father waiting in the back ground while I listened to the police tell me they found the man I had reported for indecent exposure. Had him right there in the police staion, askig me if I wanted to come in and prosecute. The man was from out of town. How they found him I have no idea.

But I was scared so I siad no. Any Father who had not abused his daughter would have been on the horn crazey out of his mind. I know this now.

I wonder what the police thougt at that time , If they were chomping at the bit . OUt of town plates .. A dead sure sign.

I let yet another perpertrator Go . I've let way to many Go.

You mentioned not having enough money for therapy. I hope you can find a way to get a therapist and maybe even have your sister do some sessions with you.

Your reatioship Is important . much more important than to play out the Cinderella complex.

So glad you have Conner . Please don;t hate yourself . It wasn;t your fault. Pain.



Patricia