The thing that would help you to feel a lot better is if you knew for sure that you would never see him again. You don't have this guarantee so I would assume that this is what is keeping you on edge?

I know that if you saw him you would be really triggered but you can handle a trigger? Was his attack a "patient out of control" attack that might never happen again? I guess what I am getting at is what is the worst thing that could happen if you do see him again?