Very tough situation, thunderbear...

Jmo, but it sounds like you and your husband have many things that need addressed and taken care of...
Obviously I don't know the details of your situation, but the drug abuse jumps out at me. If his pain meds are not lasting as long as they should, perhaps he needs to see his doc and get something else...
I don't understand why you felt you had to share yours with him. Your pain needs to be taken care of, and you have the right to use them for it.
With your neck still hurting you, maybe your doc could also prescribe something different for it.

Maybe the two of you could talk with your doc(s) and see what help you can get straightening this out.

My best wishes for this to get better,
Cap